It’s two years since I retired from my job. After that I never tried for another job.

I went to Benares several times while I was working. I never stayed for more than two days there though. Now I am not in a rush. I arrived here this morning along with my wife, I was planning to spend a few days here.

We took a room in Andhrasram. Someone offered to make arrangements for our meals and snacks. Someone else offered to show us around the city. We did not accept any of those offers. We decided to eat whatever we felt like and visit whatever we felt like seeing. We two were planning to go around on the small streets in the evening leisurely. We got a room upstairs. We locked the door and came down to go out.

On the way to the street, there was a small room next to the front porch. There was an older man in that room, sitting on a deerskin mat, and reading book that was sitting on a book-holder. He wore traditional amber clothes befitting an ascetic. The moment I saw him, I felt like making a namaskaram to him.

“Sir, my name is Murthy,” I said, folding my hands reverently.

He stopped reading, looked at me and my wife and signed inviting us in. We two sat on the reed mat that was next to him.

He wiped his eyeglasses and asked us, “Where are you from?”

“We are from Visakhapatnam,” I replied.

“Glad to hear that,” he said.

“Manager told us that you are known as Vidyananda Saraswati Swamy. Is it possible for us to learn about purvasramam[1]?”
He smiled and said, “Ascetics don’t speak about their previous stages of life.”

I don’t have any more questions to ask him. He started again, “If you are interested in learning about my present stage of life, here it is. I belong to Sankara Mutt. They arrange everything for us. Immediately after I have taken the vow, they are providing us food, room, amber clothes, and wooden clogs, and such. They wouldn’t skimp on anything.”

“That’s great, I must say!”

“Our food is different too. We are fed four varieties of vegetables, chutneys, rice pudding, and garelu[2] at noontime everyday. In the evenings, after a light snack, our job is to stay away from mundane activities, read philosophical texts and teaching the same to others.”

After that, he kept speaking about Bhagavad Gita. He was going over lot of details.

***

A silk merchant came into the porch. Several women gathered around him and looking at the sarees he displayed. My wife was distracted. She was not listening to Swamy anymore but was focused on the sarees. Swamy noticed it.

It was close to five and another swami walked in. He lives in a room at the back. Vidyananda Saraswati introduced him to me, “He is Jnanananda Saraswati swamy. We both took the vow the same day. At the Sankara mutt, not too far from here, they are remodeling the place. They arranged these rooms for us rooms temporarily.”

My wife and I stood up and did namaskaram to the swamy who just walked in.

Vidyananda saraswati swamy said, “We go for a walk everyday along the river Ganges. You go ahead and let your wife see the sarees. That merchant also from our region. We are on our way out.”

Both the swamijis left. Up until now I was curious about one swami. Now I was anxious to know about them both. We did not see the swami for the next two days. We went to see Birla mandir and the university campus.

On the third day, we saw Jnananda swamy near Dasaswametha ghattam. He sat on the ledge of the river Ganges and was watching the boats cruising on the river. We two approached him.

He looked at us for a few seconds and recalled our previous acquaintance.

He said, “You came from Visakhapatnam, right?”

“Yes, swami!” I said.

“Sit down,” he said.

We sat next to him. “Vidyananda swami did not accompany you today?” I asked.

“No, he didn’t. He was engrossed in the study of Upanishads. I left him alone and came by myself.”

I chatted with him for a while and then asked him, “Swami, I know you will not talk about your previous stage of life. You are bound by your principle. But, I am sure you have no objection to talk about another swami.”

He thought about it for a while and then said, “ I was never caught in this dilemma before.”

“I apologize,” I said.

“There is no reason for apologies. Listen,” and he told us about Vidyananda Swamy, “In the previous stage of his life, his name was Venkata Rao, a resident of Hyderabad. He was a renowned surgeon.” Swamiji kept quiet for a while and then continued, “He has performed thousands of operations. Saved numerous lives. Actually, I must put it in a different way. He brought many people back to life. He performed surgeries from 9:00 a.m. to midnight. Sometimes he even stayed up in the operation room until 2:00 a.m. and would be back at the operation table next morning as usual.”

“I also heard that he was extraordinary. I heard my relatives speak very highly of him.”

“His wife was principal of a music college. A great musician. The couple had two sons, both settled in America.”

“It sounds very good. Why, then, did you take a vow of ascetism?”

Swamiji thought for a few seconds and replied, “For a while, although they lived under the same room, acted like they were living miles apart. He was totally immersed in his surgery and she was completely submerged in her music, and thus they drifted apart. He used to come home tired after all the surgeries, would eat whatever the cook left on the table or skip the meals, drink a glass of milk and go to bed. His wife would go to concerts, come home and follow the same pattern. One day, he did not come home until 2:00 in the morning. She waited for him. It started out as a small bickering and soon turned into a huge storm. At that time she said, “You are past 65. You are totally engrossed in your surgeries since dawn to midnight. You have four surgeons, just as capable as you are, working for you. You are short for nothing. Aren’t you happy with the fame you have acquired? You think about everybody else, why not about yourself? I am tired of telling you this over and again.”

She went to her room, crying.

“Venkateswara Rao thought about it for an hour. He didn’t eat, not even had milk. What a stupidity to think that he had been the shouldering the hardships of all his patients? One must learn about oneself. He got up at dawn and left home, without telling anyone and boarded the train to Benares.

“And then?” I asked him.

“He obtained the vow of ascetism from Paramacharya of Sankara Matt.”

It was getting dark. The lights on the shores of the Ganges were shining bright. I escorted swamiji carefully to Andhrashram.

It was painful for me. Among all the highly skilled surgeons in India, Dr. Venkateswara Rao ranked fourth. He bestowed gift of life on thousands of patients. It is not even fair to compare him to his assistants. After him … is a far-off question nobody could answer.

***

For the next two or three days, I have been going around watching new things, walking on small side streets, visiting the Lord Viswanatha; yet Venkateswara Rao garu was constantly haunting my mind.

On that specific day at about 3:30 p.m., my wife went out with other women in Andhrashram for shopping. I was checking the money—cash on hand and the expenses. After it was done, I came downstairs. Vidyananda Saraswati swami was in his room with a couple of other Telugu men. He was teaching some philosophical text to them. Jnanandaswami came there and saw that Vidyananda swami was busy teaching. Jnananda Swami left for the shores of the Ganges alone.

I kept pacing in the porch for about a half hour. Swamiji’s teaching ended. He got up, closed the doors and saw me standing there. He understood that my wife went shopping.

“What would you do here alone? Let’s go for a walk. Come with me.”

I followed him to the river shore. He did not talk while we walked. We sat down relaxed on the top row of the steps. Then he started talking. “Our Sitaramayya is a great businessman.”

“Who’s Sitaramayya garu?” I asked him.

“The same Janananda Saraswati.”

“I learned a great new thing today.”

“He came from an ordinary family. He wasn’t even highly educated. He worked hard and made it in the business world. He grossed a few hundreds and thousands of rupees in the cooking oil business. He has built four big buildings in Hyderabad. His wife died two years back. He and I are of the same age.”

“Did he have sons?”

“Three sons.”

“He should have given them some responsibilities.”

“He did. But they did not experience poverty like their father. They did not develop his skills like honesty and business acumen. After his wife’s death, he decided to give half of his property to his sons, and the rest to an orphanage.”

“How much half of his property is?”

“40 hundred thousand. His sons came to know about this. Their wives were upset that the father-in-law was giving away such a large sum to an orphanage freely. They encouraged their husbands to litigate for their shares.”

“That property was not inheritance for generations, how could they litigate?”

“It was his own sweat and blood. He could spend anyway he pleased.”

“Then why did the sons hunger after his earnings?”

“The three daughters-in-law entered into a fierce debate. The third daughter-in-law’s father was a law professor in a university. They invited him and had him prepare court documents. It was not legal but he promised them he would try his best.”

“And then?”

“One day the law professor came to Sitaramayya’s house at about 8:00 in the evening. After some small talk, he broached the subject. “Children are always the first heirs of father’s property. All others come only after them. There is nothing more stupid than giving your property to an orphanage while your own children are hankering for it. Sitaramayya garu, instead of donating your property to an orphanage, maybe, you should consider joining an asram.”

“Sitaramayya was enraged at this suggestion. He tore up the documents into bits and pieces. He went into his room and shut the doors. Later while nobody was watching, he went to the station and hopped on a train to Benares.”

 

I started thinking. The law professor was Professor Madhusudana Rao, who was also my professor. He was a great intellectual. I knew his daughter since she was a kid. Professor Madhusudana Rao had traveled extensively. I was sad. I couldn’t say anything to Swamiji during our return home. I kept ruminating about the subject all night. That was past; something that could not reappear.

It was getting time for us to return to our place. I could never get another chance to see those two ascetics again, nor talk to them.

The last day. We have reserved our tickets on the train for that night. My wife and I bought some fruits and went to bid farewell to the two swamijis.

Vidyananda Saraswati swami talked to us kindly. He told us to put the fruits by him. After a few minutes, I said, “Swamiji, because he took the vow of ascetism, several thousands of patients lost your service. Your goal should be to save the millions of humans who were suffering. Your duty …”

He did not let me finish my sentence. He said, “I have to leave this world some day. Then my absence will be felt, no matter what. I have to prepare this world for that situation starting now.”

What can I say to him? We two folded our hands in reverence, took leave of him and left.

After that, we went to visit with Swamy Jnananda Saraswati. He was getting ready to go out. I folded my hands and said, “Swamy, I just learned that your son was married to my professor’s daughter. I was acquianted with your third daughter-in-law since she was a child. Madhusudana Rao garu, was a great scholar. He has earned numerous awards nationally and internationally.”

I was about to say something more but he did not let me. He picked up the fruits which I put in front of him earlier and threw them in my face. He shouted angrily, “Your professor was a great man for the entire world. His daughter was even a greater woman. Both of them together shrouded me in these amber clothes. Get out. Speak no more.”

He went away infuriated.

[End]

(Telugu original, “iddaru yateeswarulu” was published in “Telugu paluku: TANA special issue, 2003. Permission from the author is gratefully acknowledged.)

Published originally on thulika.net, January 2004.

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[1] Previous stage of life. According to Hindu philosophy, ascetism is the fourth stage; the three preceding stages being, childhood, student life, and family life.

[2] Fried lentil (black graham) patties.