Sai Padma Murthy | THULIKA.NET

You never know until you try

What you really meant to me

What I am to you

What we can b e when we are together

When you can break the silence

Just say “I believe you”

Which is more precious to me than love?

I am lost without you

In this world of calculations

Quaint amidst chaos…

Searching for you like a shadow

Like a child in a carnival

Preserved like an antique

Which no body wants to take home

I always look for you..

Are you there for me or not?

I know you, yet Checking

Over my shoulder of responsibilities

My untold inhibitions and fears

Hidden deeply in my heart’s closet

Which you only can wipe-off with just a shrug..

I am waiting for you forever

In the light and darkness of life

In my automatic routine things

I See you whenever and wherever

Similar to a ray of hope

I always hope to come true

Why I’m never tired of waiting?

Are you tired of trying? ..

Well you never know until you try..

Introspection

Walking thru shadows

Numb mind and thoughts freezed

Wry smile at the corner of lips,

Remember the day when you left me forever..

Trees are listening

Nodding their heads with devotion

As if they are feeling my pain,

Gives me solace which humans can’t give

Creek of the porch gate

Hum of the curtain saying it’s all over

Hurried breeze to take my tear away,

Saying I am not alone….

Surprised why I feel?

When I have you in and with my soul,

But… believe me

You will never go if you look back once…

———————

Published on thulika.net, March 2003.

Alugolu[1] bus is running along the Nellimarla[2] river to Ramatheerdhalu[3].

Ramatheerthalu Hill is visible far away- like a finely polished, single stone.

A little away, a man is waving his hand to stop the bus. A woman was beside him carrying a child. The bus stopped.

“Baboo![4] Is it Alugolu bus?”

“Yeah!” the conductor’s voice is mingled with the noise of the bus door as it opened.

He is wearing a pancha[5] that is barely covering his knees, and a tee shirt, torn and foul-smelling. He is looking like a xerox copy of the country’s economic system.

“How much fare to Alugolu, Baboo….?” He asked wiping his face with a sweaty towel.

“One and a half rupee”

“How much for my lady, Baboo??” The passengers in the bus burst into a big laughter.

“Naidu[6] sir! It is same fare either for ladies or your highness. Total three rupees,” answered the conductor sarcastically, with a twisted smile.

People in the bus laughed roaring again..

The man could understand the meaning of such laughs.

“In our village, we all work the hardest, from sunrise to sunset, and they never pay the same wages to our ladies as they give us Baboo! That’s why I asked,” said Naidu.

The bus left.

Outside the sun is showing his glory.

[End]

(Translated by Sai Padma Murthy, and originally published on thulika.net, March 2005.)

——————————–

[1] A village in Vizianagaram district, Andhra Pradesh

[2] A village in Vizianagaram district, Andhra Pradesh

[3] Ramatheerdhalu- a place of pilgrimage in Vizianagaram district, Andhra Pradesh

[4] A form of address like “sir” –used by lower class people to show their respect to upper class and educated people

[5] A kind of outfit for men. Long, one piece cloth, made of cotton, worn like pants.

[6] A caste name, also used in addressing.

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